Quotables

Beyond living and dreaming

There is something more important:

Waking up.

~Ortega y Gasset

This is a truth I've been trying to learn recently. For me, it's sort of akin to acceptance and letting go. Dreams are great and necessary as is the monotony of every day living but when those two things meld together there's a beautiful catharsis that occurs. We awaken to the possibilities of our dreams without holding them up as unrealistic expectations that are bound to disappoint and we begin to see the blessings in every day amidst the struggles and drudgery that often weigh us down. We accept the truth and reality of our current situation but recognize that we are not limited by those situations while concurrently recognizing that failure to live a particular dream or reach an expected milestone does not equal failure. When we wake up to each moment and fully live it we can experience something deeper than the moment itself.

photo by me: random tiny wildflowers

Adventuring Into Adulthood--40 for 40

I don't often feel like a full-fledged adult.  Mostly I look around and wonder when someone is going to call my bluff and discover that I've been simply masquerading as an adult for years. Off will come the mask and I'll be able to go back to being the fourteen year old who's been living way out of her comfort zone in this world of mortgages and careers and other ginormous responsibilities.

But it's hard to deny the fact that adulthood is your world when you find yourself staring down the barrel of the big 4-0. Forty.  Seriously.  How on earth did that happen? As is the case for most of the big questions in my life, I have no answer.  But in surveying things so far I feel pretty lucky in all that I've done and seen and become up to this point. This past year or so has been an interesting detour that, like most detours, wasn't planned and I wasn't prepared for.  I'm still coping with some of the fall out (both positive and negative) and working to find a path and direction in many areas of my life. And, as is my M.O., I've spent some time reading good books and developing an attack plan (ie a stack of lists and goals) to get things moving.

One of the things I've done often throughout the years is make a bucket list (I've done it since long before they were cool!) and my 40th birthday seemed an appropriate time to break out a new one. Rather than starting on my 39th birthday and working up to it or launching it on the 40th I decided to sandwich the birthday in the middle of it all.  So, I've got 6 months of goals leading up to the big day and another 6 months to follow it up.

Forty things in all; some brand new adventures and some things I've done before and want to do again and a few things I just want to make sure I focus on and make time for.  This blog is actually one of the things on that list. A few others include:

• making a presentable loaf of bread
• participating in a photography challenge
• finding a cause I love enough to regularly volunteer for
• attending ComiCon
• running a 5K
• paying off my credit cards 
• hosting a dinner party
• sending a hand-written letter every week
• finally finishing the book I've been writing
• getting married! (this one will take up the bulk of my energy for the next couple of months so hopefully the rest of them don't suffer in the meantime!)

How about you? Are you a list-maker?  A goal-setter? What do you to commemorate or cope with the big milestones? I'd love to hear about it!

photo by me: New Zealand graffiti

Why, hello there!

For as long as I can remember I’ve been at war with myself.  I long for adventure yet I crave the comforts of home.  My soul seeks new people and places to discover while simultaneously wanting longevity and stability and sameness in my surroundings and relationships.

I stumbled on this poem by Don Blanding recently and it sums up my struggles perfectly.

This blog is a celebration of that split personality complex.  The simpler and finer things in life, the ways I seek to branch out and explore this amazing world around us and the ways I seek to enrich but simplify my daily sphere of influence which is sometimes so small it’s nearly microscopic.

As an introvert my natural tendencies are to do things like curl up in a fluffy blanket with a mug of peppermint tea and a good book and stay there forever. If I’m feeling really brave (and the weather is cooperative) I’ll venture outside and do a little reading under the shade of a friendly tree. Not a bad existence, really. But there’s this insatiable itch inside me that has become more and more persistent with the passing years. I think I did a pretty good job of ignoring it all through high school and college until finally, one day it would no longer be ignored.

I never set out to travel the world, or move thousands of miles from home to live in a place where I didn’t know a soul, or even to learn to play the harmonica but I’ve done all of those things and more. And while at first they happened sort of accidentally, I’ve begun to learn how to listen to that itchy inner voice and plan adventures on purpose, as well (it’s a lot more fun that way!)

Some days the introvert wins the battle and some days the adventurer claims the victory but only time will tell which side will ultimately win the war. Accidents still happen, and adventure still isn’t my default setting. I still love to escape into a world where the only conversation that occurs is between fictional characters on a printed page.  But I’m looking forward to a lifetime of continued adventures, big or small, accidental or otherwise, and sharing a few of them here with you.  Thanks for reading!

P.S. I’d love to hear about your adventures as well!  Comments are always appreciated!